Stories to remember - Chapter 47

THE BILL OF FARE

Danglars looked up in surprise at the bandit who was still holding his wrist tightly.

'What! A hundred thousand francs for that chicken?' he said.

'Your Excellency, you can't imagine how difficult it is to raise chickens in these caves.'

'Come, come,' said Danglars, 'that's very funny-very amusing, I agree; but as I'm very hungry, please allow me to eat. Anyway, there's another piastre for you.'

'Now that leaves only 16,665 piastres you owe me,' said the guard calmly. 'I shall get them all in time.'

'Ah! if you think that,' shouted Danglars, now getting angry, 'then you don't know me. You'll never get all that money out of me.'

The guard made a sign, and the man who had brought the chicken hastily removed it. Danglars lay down on his bed in the corner and the guard began eating his food again. Danglars could smell the peas and bacon. He began to feel more and more hungry. He waited for half an hour, which seemed to him like a hundred years. Then he could stand it no more. He got up and went to the door.

'Come,' said he to the guard, 'don't keep me starving here any longer, but tell me what they want with me.'

'No, your Excellency! You must say what you want with us. Give us your orders, and we will carry them out.'

'Then give me something to eat, quickly. I want to eat-to eat; do you hear?'

'What would your Excellency like to eat?'

'A piece of dry bread, since the chickens are beyond all price in this dreadful place.'

'Very well,' said the guard. He called out, 'Some bread for his Excellency.'

When the bread came, Danglars asked how much it would cost him.

'Only, 16,665 piastres,' said the guard; 'you have already paid two piastres in advance.'

'What, a hundred thousand francs for a loaf?'

'One hundred thousand francs', said the guard.

'But you only asked a hundred thousand francs for a chicken!'

'We don't charge according to the bill of fare. We serve only at a fixed price. It makes no difference whether you eat a lot or a little, whether you have ten dishes or one; it's always the same price.'

'What ! Still keeping up this silly joke? My dear fellow, it is stupid ! You may as well tell me that you want me to die of starvation.'

'Oh no, your Excellency, we don't want you to do that. Pay and eat!'

'And what shall I pay with, fool? Do you think I carry a hundred thousand francs in my pocket?'

'Your Excellency, you have a cheque book in your pocket and five million francs in the bank. That's enough for fifty chickens at a hundred thousand francs each.'

Danglars now understood that this was no joke, but part of the ransom which the bandits were demanding for his release.

'If I pay you a hundred thousand francs,' he said, 'will you be satisfied and let me eat in peace?'

'Certainly,' said the guard.

Danglars decided to pay. He took out his cheque book and asked for a pen and ink. When it was brought to him, he wrote out a cheque for 16,665 piastres.

'Here you are,' he said, giving it to the guard.

'And here is your chicken,' said the guard.

Danglars sighed when he cut up the chicken. It looked very thin for the price it had cost him. As for the guard, he looked carefully at the cheque, put it in his pocket, and continued eating his peas and bacon. 

Stories to remember - Chapter 46

DANGLARS ORDERS A MEAL

After a good night's sleep, Danglars awoke. He did not realise at first where he was. Then he remembered.

'Yes, yes,' he murmured, 'I am in the hands of the same bandits who captured Albert Morcerf. They haven't killed or wounded me yet, but perhaps they've robbed me.' He put his hands in his pockets. The money he had with him was still there.

'What peculiar bandits!' he exclaimed. 'They have left me with my money and my watch. Still, I suppose they'll soon demand money to set me free.'

He looked at his watch and saw that it was six o'clock in the morning. He decided to wait and see what the bandits wanted.

At twelve o'clock, the guard outside his door went off duty and another one came and sat down there. Danglars could see him through a small hole in the door.

The man started eating some black bread, cheese, and onions. 'I don't know how he can eat such awful food,' said Danglars to himself.

But as he watched the man eating, Danglars also began to feel hungry.

'Come!' he called to the man, 'I think it's time somebody gave me something to eat also.'

The man outside the door took no notice of him.

At four o'clock in the afternoon, another guard came on duty. This man had brought with him some peas stewed with bacon, a basket of grapes and a bottle of wine. Danglars' mouth began to water. He tapped on the door of his cell and the guard came to see what he wanted. Danglars noticed that he was the same man who had told him so rudely, the evening before, to put his head back inside the carriage. But he decided that this was not the time for a quarrel. So, with a pleasant smile, he said politely, 'Excuse me, but aren't they going to give me any dinner?'

'Does your Excellency happen to be hungry?' said the guard.

'Happen to be hungry! That's good, when I haven't eaten for twenty-four hours,' muttered Danglars, but he said aloud, 'Yes, I'm very hungry.'

'And your Excellency would like to eat?'

'Yes, and quickly, if that's possible.'

''Of course, your Excellency. Here you can have whatever you wish for as long as you pay for it. That's the custom among all honest people.'

'Of course!' said Danglars, 'although those who capture you and imprison you ought at least to feed their prisoners.'

'Ah, your Excellency,' replied the guard, 'that is not the custom here.'

'That's a poor reason,' said Danglars, 'but anyway bring me something to eat.'

'What would your Excellency like? Just give your orders!'

''Have you kitchens and cooks here, then?'

'Yes, very good ones.'

'Why, it's just like being in Paris,' murmured Danglars. Then he said to the guard, 'Very well, then, bring me a roast chicken.'

The guard turned around and called out, 'A roast chicken for his Excellency!'

In a minute, a young man appeared, carrying a roast chicken on a silver dish.

'Here, your Excellency!' said the guard, taking the chicken and putting it on the table in the cell. Danglars asked for a knife and fork.

'Here, your Excellency!' said the guard, giving them to him.

Danglars took the knife in one hand and the fork in the other, and was about to cut up the chicken.

'Pardon me, your Excellency,' said the guard. 'People pay here before they eat. Otherwise, they might refuse to pay afterwards.'

'Ah!' thought Danglars. 'This is no longer like Paris. But I'll pay them well. Chickens can't cost much here.' He gave the guard one piastre, which he reckoned was enough to buy about a hundred chickens in Rome. The guard took the piastre and Danglars again prepared to cut up the chicken with his knife and fork.

'Just a moment, your Excellency,' said the guard, 'you still owe me something.'

'How do I owe you anything?' asked Danglars, surprised.

'Your Excellency has given me only one piastre.'

'Only one piastre for a chicken! Isn't that more than enough?'

'Oh no, your Excellency, you still owe me 16,666 piastres.'

Danglars opened his eyes wide when he heard this huge joke.

'Ah! very funny,' he murmured, 'very funny!' He got ready to cut the chicken again, but the guard seized his wrist with one hand and held out his other hand for the money. 'Come,' said he.

'Aren't you joking?' said Danglars.

'We never joke, your Excellency,' replied the guard.